Marriage is meant to be a beautiful covenant union! Sometimes, though, we get off beat with each other. In this program, Sharon offers 10 secrets for men and women on how to not just survive marriage, but to be Happily Married! Taking a few minutes to watch this show could drastically change your life for the best!
Don't be selfish. Stop thinking about how to change the other person.
Studies show that with newlyweds, men want the women they are marrying to stay the way they are. Women marry men and see the potential of who they can become. In short, women want to change their mates.
Make a list. Does he/she have a good heart; great sense of humor; is he neat; a hard worker?
My husband and I took a course called "So your getting married." We had to make our case for why we wanted to marry each other. I liked this so much that I had our lists framed. Each year on our wedding anniversary we read our list out loud to each other.
Make your list.. Try it!
At home and in public. Use some of the reasons why you wanted to marry and actually tell your spouse some of these great qualities you see and admire.
Do not put each other down in public. It makes me cringe when I see this! Why would you tear something down that is supposed to be so dear to you?
Understand when the other is going through a difficult time. Be there to help instead of contributing to the pain.
Our one romantic dinner night… I made a decision to enjoy because so many others couldn't.
Ephesians 4:26-27 "Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold."
Foothold definition: a place for the feet, as in climbing, A Secure position.
Men: Many don't want to share what's going on at office. You feel as if you may be weak if you let your guard down and share. You don't feel like you need to share.
Husbands: By telling her your problems, you are helping your marriage. You are bonding the two of you together by sharing the things closest to your heart. Don't miss the opportunity to bond by sharing.
Psalm 17:8 "Keep me as the apple of your eye; hide me in the shadow of your wings."
Ephesians 5:25 "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her."
Husbands say, "I'm just not romantic!" Hey, God knew this. That's why He mentioned this in the Bible in my humble but accurate opinion. He knew how difficult it would be for most men, so he really stressed this point to the men. He didn't tell the ladies. They have no problem doing it.
Ephesians 5:33 "Each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband."
Wives tend to become proud in the fact that they can multi-task much better than men. Women can cook, clean, watch the news, make a pot of tea, help with homework, and talk on the phone at the same time. Try to get the male to pack one diaper bag and their might be trouble. When situations like these arise, women often begin to see their husbands as inferior. Wives start to think that she didn't marry such a smart cookie after all.
This is dangerous in a marriage! I can't remember the exact study, but I watched a program one night about the science of the brain. Women's brains had a large section of the brain that allowed for multi-tasking, whereas the part of the male's brains which controlled this ability was quite small. We are simply made differently! It goes to the core of how God made us. Therefore, let's not see our differences as weaknesses, but simply as differences.
Our society doesn't help in this area. Think of a television sitcom where the man of the house was the wise and noble leader. You have to go back to some of the old shows like the Andy Griffith Show or Father Knows Best .
So, don't follow culture, follow God's living Word as He tells wives to respect your husbands.
Don't just look at her as to say: "When are you ever going to finish with this story?" Try to really understand that what she is telling you is close to her heart and she cares enough to share it with you. Don't try to solve her situation unless she asks. This will be a tough one, but more than not, she really wants you to listen.
And wives… be wise in choosing your time to talk about specific important things. If your husband really only likes a couple of sports teams… please let him enjoy the games.
Two games equal about 8 hours… That leaves 160 more hours a week that you have to talk to him!
Now.. If he likes to watch every sporting event each day.. Then go right ahead, you deserve the quality time!
Wives.. Don't think to yourself: "Well, if he really loved me, he would know what is bothering me right now."
By following these truths, in 50 years you won't just be married…You'll be Happily Married!
Notes from A Wonderful Life with Sharon Hinton Smith show. © 2005 - 2013
You are invited to print and keep these notes for personal encouragement. www.sharonhintonsmith.com